No more midnight snacks...

Last night Ryan and I attended a graduation party for Jessie Andersen that was f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c. The food was also wonderful and satisfying, however, seeing as Ella and Madison were screaming as if their world was ending, we were forced to make an early exit and I was unable to revisit the food area for a second round. As a result I was a little hungry at about 11:30 last night. Before I went to bed I had some ramen and a Sprite (hey--pickings were slim at the Scholz household). At about 4am the babies woke up to eat and I told Ryan about the crazy dream that I had had:

Ryan and I were dating, although I was fully aware of the fact that we would get married and have twin girls. Ryan was mad at me and said, al-la Ross Geller, that he wanted to take a break. I said okay and, about a week later, while stocking our snack shack (yes, we owned and operated a snack shack at an outdoor amphitheater), I asked him if we could talk about it. Ryan got REALLY mad and said he couldn't look at me or he was going to lose it.

Of course he decided to look at me and proceeded to throw things (including knifes) at me. I knew that the only way to escape was to join the cast of the show going on in the amphitheater. Actually, it was more of a competition--men were supposed to dance with really odd looking women for as long as possible. The man who lasted the longest won. I joined the show as man (and no one batted an eye--great) and was paired with a woman named Lorena. Lorena was fairly normal looking... except for the penis growing out of the left side of her face. Oh-yes--a penis. And to top it off there was a little snake head poking out of the end of the penis that kept weaving from side to side and sticking its tongue out at me. Wonderful.

I finally escaped the amphitheater and, all of sudden, was at my family's house on the night before my wedding. Of course my family was Mexican, I had more brothers and sisters then I could count and I was not marrying Ryan. Of course. Also, I had decided to back out of my wedding but my family was still planning on holding the reception (to which I would wear my wedding dress) because they had already paid for the hall and all the food. Excellent idea.

After the wedding my Mom said I could just come back and sleep in my old room (which had four twin beds in it--I told you I had a lot of siblings). I convinced my Mom to let me stay in the honeymoon suite at the hotel because it was already paid for. The reason I wanted to stay in the honeymoon suite you may ask? Penis-snake face Lorena was staying in the same hotel and we were going to hang out.

After I arrived at the hotel I realized that Lorena was in the hospital wing (yes, this hotel had a hospital attached to it) because she was having her reptile/man-part removed. I went to visit her and found her missing from her room. I instantly knew that she has been killed by "them" (the infamous them were never fully revealed to me in my dream so I cannot elaborate... I know you are crushed). I also knew that, if I didn't move quickly, "they" would come for me as well. This is where Ryan, no longer crazy or at all mad that I was about to marry another man, came back into the dream. We ran into a cab and tried to make our escape.

About five minutes down the road I saw Lorena's Dad wandering the street. Yes, although I had never met the man, I instantly knew he was Lorena's father (pretty good considering he didn't even have a tell-tale penis growing out of his left cheek). I asked the cab driver to stop so I could warn him that someone was coming to kill him. The cab driver did stop but then... dun-dun-dun... he locked the doors to the cab and shot Lorena's father. HE WAS ONE OF THEM! Not knowing what to do, but knowing that staying put would result in our eminent death, Ryan and I fought to escape. No such luck! The cabbie took us to the desert where there was a large semi-truck cargo bin waiting. Inside there were flats and flats of... lemons. He handed us a flat of oranges and shoved us inside. He told us that the fruit was sitting in the desert for a week to ripen. We would only have the oranges to tide us over (seeing as humans cannot eat lemons in Brittaney's dream world) until they came to move the fruit to market. He explained that the oranges would not be enough and we would die before they came to pick up the fruit. He closed the door to the cargo bin and... Ella woke me up to tell me she was hungry. Alas, we will never know if Ryan and I made it out of the storage bin... but I do know that high sodium foods and soda are probably a no-no from now on.