A Forum for Talking Animals

Sunday, October 01, 2006

No on pinkie toes

As campaigners come by my house in support and opposition of various propositions I have began to think about a few propositions of my own. Foremost in my mind is a "No on Pinkie Toes" proposition. I mean, who needs them? They are an odd shape and, as I get older, mine just keep on snuggling up to my fourth toe in hopes of making a new friend. Not cute. Also, no matter what nail polish color you choose they just look like a short,stubby, bald man after a pedicure. Again, not cute. However, what has really put me on board with the "No Pinkie Toe" band wagon is pregnancy. As my belly increases (and increases and increases) in size it has become more and more difficult for me to put on items of clothing that reside below the waist. For example, to put on pants I must sit down, spread the pants in front of me and test my foot eye coordination as I try to shoot my leg into the suspended hole of a pant leg. Good times. Where does the pinkie toe come in you ask? Well, let me tell you... although pants are difficult, underwear is harder. Because they are much shorter than pants I can not use the above method of dress. Instead I am forced to hang thing from my index finger, dangle them towards the ground, simulate the best forward bend I can muster and loop them over my foot. Great visual, I know. Anyway, I have become quite good at my underwear technique, however, my pinkie toes continuously try to thwart my efforts. The little buggers refuse to go in the leg hole. Instead they dangle over the edge and hang on for dear life. The result? An angry pregnant lady hopping around on one leg while cursing the pinkie toe that forsakes her. So to all of you loyal voters I say, if a write in is available to you... VOTE NO ON PINKIE TOES!